How come?

I don't want this kind of feeling. What is this? I just can't explain. It's something that out of my control. 

I feel weird. I am just too shy to admit that maybe I'm fall in love with you. Am I being denial to myself ? 

Can you take me away from this uncertainty world? Somewhere that people can't reach it. Somewhere that I can think about myself, my feeling, and you. 

I feel stupid. How come I fall in love with someone that I laughed at? 

But, everything happened so suddenly. You. This feeling. 

I want to be honest with myself that maybe I love you. But, I just can't. I don't want. My pride, my ego don't let me to do it. 

Negative thought keep shouting at me without taking a breath. Think that my brain will explode. 

This weird feeling that makes my entrails want to burst out every time I see you. What the hell is this. 

You make me fall for you. But, where are you now? How come you just go after all of this? 

Forever is a lie.

We hurt each other even when we're in silent. I don't have to show you how great the pain is. You can see the pain in our eyes. But again, people are addicted to pain. Right?

And the time has come, you said goodbye to me because you just don't want to hurt me anymore.

Painful goodbye but yet it's supposed to be a "good" bye. I supposed to be happy, right?

I won't cry for the same mistake,same person anymore.

But,why it hurts me so bad?

I know exactly I don't love you. Maybe I'm just addicted to you. Addicted to your love,your attention and the pain you gave to me.

Now, to see you with another girl. To see that attention you give to her, that attention that supposed to be mine. I'm broke. I feel replaced. And nothing worse than the feelings of being replaced.

I know I have to let go. 

Someone said to me, " If it hurts you more than it makes you happy. Leave. Leave and start to love yourself." 

Maybe, she was right. I have to leave. Leave everything behind and move forward.

I don't know when, but I'll make sure that I'll be much more happy without you.

For now, let's say goodbye. Because forever is a lie.